As 2017 leaps forward for its final bow in the next few hours, I think on the past year with…content, I suppose. Every time we come to rounding the sun and add another lap onto our turning journey, I’m never sure quite how to feel because every year is such a conglomeration of a million tiny little sand particles of goods and bads and averages.
I’ve been thinking a lot on New Year’s resolutions. The idea that hey, you can change your entire life and recreate the person you want to be. Reform everything, or at least try, as an accepted and common practice.
Some people think it’s ridiculous. Time, as we measure it, is a social construct, and technically tomorrow is the same as any other day, so why start then? Why not now? Other people just simply find it absurd to promote the need to change a person with the coming year.
But for me, I kind of like the concept. Tomorrow gives people a date to set, something concrete to lock onto that many people need, so that they can re-evaluate who they are and who they want to become. While I do think that this date holds something for people to hold onto as they try to decide who they are, the concept that resolutions are not just for New Year’s holds for me too.
As I’ve been thinking a lot on resolutions, I’ve been thinking a lot on who I am and who I want to become. And I can’t really figure it out, not quite yet. For some reason, recently, things don’t seem to fit quite right into my life. That’s my plan for this New Year’s, and I think that’s everyone’s plan in a way. The idea of trying to find who exactly you are.
And as we look forward and figure out what person we truly are, we look back on the year with whatever sort of emotion we look back on it with. So, here are a few points I’ve learned, about the world and about myself, from 2017.
1. No matter what it looks like, there’s still hope.
The world seems to be in this pivotal, tense place that, regardless of what you believe, I think we can all agree will be highlighted in history books. But no matter how bad or critical things look from the outside, hope and humanity can and will prevail. You can still see good people in the world, if you squint your eyes just right.
2. I love traveling.
Like I said, some personal things. This year I traveled with a school group to Ireland and Scotland for two weeks, and the experiences I had there I know will be with me for the rest of my life. But I simply loved the feel of it, of rocketing toward a new and unknown place with abandon, with no ulterior motive other than simply looking around (and, you know, getting a grade, but that’s beside the point).
3. I really like making music.
2017 saw my return to the piano bench, and I splurged on a real ukulele. My love of music has really returned to me which I’m very grateful for.
4. Letting go can be the best decision.
While I returned to an old love, I also let go of another activity that I really loved this year. And while I will always miss it, I really feel less stressed and more like myself (whoever that is) without it in my life. Leaving something behind is sometimes the best, or the only, decision that you can make. Letting go can be what pushes you forward.
5. Projects (and being in charge of them) are hard.
This past semester I began a project at my school to make a short film. While it’s not quite finished yet, I learned that gathering people to create something and making executive decisions are more difficult than I had anticipated, but I did learn how to make them.
6. Appreciation for my friends.
I always seem to learn this lesson every single year, but I found a deep appreciation for the friends in my life, particularly those at my college who really help me through so much.
7. Journaling is good for the soul.
I began journaling just a month or two ago. While I’m planning to get back into bullet journaling with the new year, I’ve started just keeping a notebook to write simply random emotions and thoughts and even poems. I think that this method, along with KP Rambles, has really helped me to organize my thoughts and feelings and piece together what I’m feeling and why.
8. New creative ideas!
Lastly, I’ve learned so much about how I want to run this blog. Starting another fiction series with The Audaxi Chronicles and this more personal side to things with KP Rambles, as well as my ideas that are in the works, I refocused on this page and relearned how badly I want this to succeed. I also started the Instagram for this blog (@kpwritingsblog), and I know now that I want to make it a study/book Instagram of sorts that I hope you all will enjoy.
Turning away from the past and back to the future, tomorrow I’m heading to the beach for about a week, and then right after I’m headed back to school for next semester. I will see you all in 2018, and I hope your 2017 went as well as it could have.
Now, we enter 2018 with lion hearts and bones of steel. We enter 2018 with open minds and welcoming hugs, with fierce, gritting teeth and warm butterfly stomachs. We enter 2018 with hope amidst the darkness.
With love and good vibes and New Year’s glitter,